Surrender is not a weakness!

4 Sep

There are some situations very embarrassing, when you don’t want to surrender in front of a person who doesn’t want too. You think you’re right, the other one thinks the same. So who wins, finally? Actually, is it a game, or just a takeover? So what for?

It is not easy to tell this person: “ok, you may be right, but I’ve got the right to think (or act) differently”. It needs to be self-confident. Sometimes the person in front of you may be angry, and they can argue, because they’re convinced they’re right. So effectively, they can be right! But it doesn’t mean you’re not too. There are a lot of ways to understand or to solve an issue, many ways to talk about a topic, many ways to think about everything.

So what to do, when the communication is blurred?

The first thing to do is to relax: change of seat, ask a glass of water, or stand up as if you were looking for something in your bag (or in a pocket). That way of doing allows a break in the argument. You can also say “ok, I must go now, we’ll talk about it later”. Everything is good to cut that bad situation.

Secondly, you must keep your self-control. Nobody likes to be threatened nor insulted. So you have to keep cool. You may change the topic of the conversation, or to just say you need more time to think about this new argumentation.

Third, you can surrender. You can say “ok, you’re right”, even you don’t agree. It means you stop the discussion, because 1/ You get bored, or 2/ You don’t want an argument or 3/ You waste your time… in any way, that means you don’t care, actually. So the person in front of you won’t keep talking, just because you’re not there anymore.

Personally, I prefer that last way. I don’t care I’m right or not, but I can be very confusing when things turn bad just because the person in front of me wants to show me how I’m stupid. So I often wonder what I’m doing here, so I leave or I stop talking. Sometimes I neatly change the topic, but it’s only when I like the person. If not, I can put them on my lack list and hope he Universe will send me new people more interesting.

Anyway, when you think you surrender, you don’t. You just shut up what you really mean, because the people in front of you aren’t as open-minded as you are: they can’t stand they may be wrong, or you may get a different point of view from theirs’.

So the pride is the biggest cause of that way of being. When someone wants to win over someone else, it means they’re too proud to admit their lack of self-confidence, and so they can be wrong (or the others can be right).

Working on the ego brings more trust and self-confidence, because you finally don’t care about who’s right or not. People can say, act and think what they want, so you too. Conversations and relationships go easier, so everybody can live and work in harmony.

Very often, the troubles between some members of a family come from too much ego and pride and quickly become a war of territory. Strong emotions drive them to be extremely violent in their comments or in their acts. Jealousy can make people envious. The worst is they don’t even think they are. Their mind is so turned on themselves, their ego makes such a battlement around them, that it’s quite impossible for them to see how their attitude is negative and destructive. That kind of person can be found at work too. They’re known to be predators, I mean very dangerous for others.

So keep in mind that you can’t surrender with that kind of people, because you’d become their prey easily. So that would be the worst for you. On the contrary, you may be self-confident, trust in your inner power, and fight. Don’t be scared: the predator gets their flaws as anybody else. Find them, and fight. Don’t surrender in any way. But the best way to get rid of a predator is to cut any relationship with them; if you can’t, because that person is working around you, then just talk with them about work, so try to stand far from them, and don’t care about them. So ask your angels to rid them of your path, I can assure you that it works!

Love,

Jane

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